Dynamic Coaching
by Blackbird
Summary: While picking the Tweebs up from soccer practice, Kim meets their new coach.  Who may be just as bad as she was.


_Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to Kim Possible. That's owned by Disney and the creators...whose names I can't remember at the moment. But she belongs to them and I'm just burrowing her for this story._

**Dynamic Coaching**

Kim sighed as she pulled into the parking lot. While she loved the fact that her parents trusted her more with the car now that she had her license, picking the Tweebs up from soccer practice wasn't exactly her idea of a joyride. At least she would be able to meet their new coach now. When she first heard about them getting a new coach, she had offered to pass along some of her techniques to him, but was promptly shot down the Tweebs. And her parents. And Wade. And Monique. And Ron. And Rufus. She rolled her eyes as she remembered their complaints. There was no way she was THAT bad.

She got out of the car and walked towards the field, stopping some feet away to watch and see how this new coach could compare. Right away she was unsure because he was far from the peak of physical condition. In fact, he was a rather rotund man with short, spiked red hair. He was dressed in an orange shirt with a yellow strip running across the chest and continuing onto the sleeves. He wore a pair of matching orange pants that made it seem like he was wearing a one piece suit. The outfit was topped off by a whistle hanging around his neck. She remained silent to see how he handled the kids.

"Jimmy stop touching the ball! If you keep doing it I'm going to break all your fingers! Think about it! All ten! Broken! Won't be able to touch anything then, will you!" he screamed.

Kim winced. Again, as bad as she was, she couldn't have been THAT bad.

"Tina, kick the ball! It's made of rubber and air, it's not going to hurt you! Unless of course it's thrown at your face which is what I'm about to do unless you kick the damn thing!"

OK, time to intervene, Kim thought as she walked up and made her presence known. "Hi! I'm Kim Possible, Jim and Tim's sister."

"Who?" the coach responded.

"The twins?"

"Oh yeah, those two. The two who don't completely suck!" he shouted towards the kids again.

"Yeah them. They should be pretty good, I actually coached this time last year."

"Really? Then why aren't you doing it now?"

"I was...kicked off," she said sheepishly.  
"Wow. You must have really sucked."

"I did not! They just couldn't handle my training regiment!"

"Obviously it didn't help, cause then they'd know how to play soccer instead of running around like a bunch of decapitated chickens! Jimmy, what'd I tell you about touching the ball!"

Seeing that the situation was falling apart rapidly, Kim tried another tactic.

"So, Mr..." she started.

"McGuirk," he replied.

"Mr. McGuirk."

"Actually it's Coach McGuirk. See that's one of the perks of the job, you get to call me coach. Actually it's the only perk. Cause this job isn't really that great."

"O-kay. So...what did you move to Middleton?"

"That's a funny story. I moved here to get away from what I was doing before, which was coaching elementary school soccer. Then when I got here, what did I end up doing? Coaching elementary school soccer. See, I'm doing the same job, but with a different pack of losers. Who can't play. Isn't that funny?"

"Uh...yeah, it's funny alright," she replied, feeling extremely nervous at this point.

"Let me ask you something Brendon-"

"Kim."

"What?"

"My name's Kim, remember?"

"Right, whatever. Well then Kim let me as you something. You ever feel like God is mocking you?"

"Uh..."

"Cause I do. Everyday of my life. Because if he wasn't, then I wouldn't keep getting a job, that I hate. You know, I would be some millionaire in a mansion somewhere with hundreds of a beautiful woman around me. Instead I'm here, coaching soccer. A sport I completely despise." He sighed and hung his head. "God I hate my life."  
"Right, well maybe I can pick up my brothers now?" Kim asked hopefully.

"Yeah sure, whatever. Rin! Tin! Bring it in!"

"Jim and Tim."

"Jim! Tim! Whoever! You're sister's here to pick you up! Everyone else, just keep playing! Or whatever the hell you call that!"

As soon as the twin boys came over to her, Kim rushed them off the field and into the car. Once all the doors were closed she let out a sigh of relief.

"Is he always like that?" she asked, looking at her brothers.

"Actually his is one of his good days," Jim said.

"Yeah, you should see him at games," Tim added.

"Wow," Kim muttered in disbelief. She looked at them again with a sly grin. "So you still think I was the worst coach you had?"

The twins stared at each other for a moment with thoughtful expressions.

"Yep!" the both replied.

"Hey!"

**Author's Notes: **Alright, some of you may be wondering what that just was. Honestly, it was just a small scene that popped into my head and that I posted on my Live Journal, and after my roommate saw it, he said I should post it was a mini fic. So I decided, "What the hell?" and here it is. Hope you enjoyed it. If Coach McGuirk seems familiar at all, that's because I borrowed him from a little show call "Home Movies" that played on Adult Swim and is currently doing so again, but in only reruns. Still a great show and I encourage all of you that are the appropriate age to check it out. I don't own him either. He's owned by Adult Swim and the creators of "Home Movies". So there, got that out of the way. Now off to my other fics that I SHOULD be working on.


End file.
